First Week on the Job

I am in my first week as a Student Development Associate at a community college. I am involved with recruiting and reviewing admissions applications for educationally and financially disadvantaged students into a scholarship opportunity program.

Settling into my office is slow. My position is temporary through June, so I do not want to get too comfortable (although I am dying to set it up with pictures, a stash of bottled water, hang my favorite quilt on the wall, find the perfect inspirational quote for my desk, etc). It took a few days to hook up with the tech department and get my log ins all squared away.

I have met some people in my department, but I still have many folks to get to know. That's for next week.

Being the new kid in the office is fun, exciting and a little nerve wracking. I am old enough to know its okay to ask dumb questions. That's how you get un-dumb! And I'm also smart enough to get to know the folks around me and make those connections. But when the new job jitters act up, I do my breathing exercises and think about my kids. That always calms me down. Plus, I have only met fabulous people.

On our visits to the high schools, I have met with some very promising students. And that is very exciting to know I can be a part of lending them a hand as they reach toward their dreams. But, some of their stories break my heart. Yesterday, it was a sweet, bright, red head who is living with her grandparents. Youth Services removed her from her parents' home. Yet she remains hopeful about her life and has learned to over come a lot for having lived so short a time on this planet. When we meet with the high school seniors, they are smart, they are nervous, and they are hopeful. There have been some very happy experiences and I feel privileged to be in their company.

Today was difficult. We met with two students who live in the heart of darkness. Tough neighborhood. Tough personal and emotional issues. Somehow, they have kept themselves focused on their dreams and stayed out of trouble. But when I reviewed their transcripts, my heart sank. Terrible grades. As I walked to the parking lot, I realized that was a pivotal moment for those two young men. They had the dreams. They had the will. They still had hope in their eyes and sweet friendly smiles. But they did not have the grades and they did not have the financial resources.

I got in my car, drove away, and had my first good cry. When I got back to the office, I bucked up my reserve and decided I was going to have to find a way to care without letting it kill me.